‘Sometimes, I really hate myself.’
Those words really hit me hard. She’s a bright girl, kind, amazingly perspective, and she understands people in ways they don’t understand themselves. Most importantly, she’s my friend. How she couldn’t see herself clearly leaves me dumbfounded.
There’s been quite a few ups and downs in her life lately, mostly revolving around relationships. It’s always been like this, she said.
‘Yet I’m still so affected. I…just can’t stand to lose them, you know? I already have so little people in my life.’
Perhaps some would say that you’ve got to let them go, I’d say, leave them behind. If they can’t catch up and they don’t want to, why wait? Common sense, duh.
So, you hate yourself. I’d take a shot in the dark and guess that you think this way because these things kept happening to you ’cause of your personality.
Well, great! Hey, since you hate yourself, let’s make you hate yourself even more. Be selfish, as selfish as you can be.
Do whatever that makes you happy. Whatever. Be selfish. Don’t mind any other people, your world now revolves only around you. Care only about yourself, hate yourself even more.
After awhile, when you’ve done doing the things you like, when you’ve grown tired, when you’ve calmed down, lie down and think. Do you really hate yourself?
Yes? Does hating yourself make you a better person? Does hating yourself make you become someone you can hate less? Does hating yourself help?
Why do you hate yourself? You are the one who wants to hate yourself, don’t bring others into the equation. They don’t want to be your friend? That’s not a reason. Think only about yourself, and ask why?
Be honest. Do you really think that you are completely useless, do you really think that you hate every single aspect of yourself?
Why do you want to hate? What exactly it is, that you hate?
When you’ve answered all the questions, make up your mind on whether you really hate yourself, or the situation. Remember, be honest.
…One last thing: Despite what society says, not being perfect is actually quite okay.
Besides, how is one ‘perfect’? You decide.
(This rant actually happened… Just wanna write it down for future references)
(I hoped she really is better like she said)
(I really hope so)